A fresh new day

Today was quite interesting, 


Yesterday afternoon Wan Josey (I´m not sure if that is how you spell his name) came. He is a visitor from spain and stays here until the end of January. Im not sure exactly what he will be doing. But it seems he will be working in the garden, since he related that is what he was in his heart.

Later on some things happened that caused me some turmoil, so finally hoping to get some relief elsewhere (from a situation that became stressful to me) I wandered away and found Josey (a volunteer here I trust very much) playing chess with a few kids. So far the score is 1 win for me and 3 wins for him, in our chess history. But leaving this place with a positive win/ratio vs Josey is not so much a concern to me. Josey is the only guy who has a positive win record in chess against me. So far I´ve only played it on being invited, but today I´ve simply declined to play it and probably will either for the next few days or my full duration of staying here. I intend to try and play the local Disney version of monopoly with the kids in its place and hopefuly try to teach and learn the 7 habits through it. The way they play it seems so scattered and shortsighted without applying the 7 habits. For example they dont try to make trades with other kids so they can set up a monopoly and possibly win.  Yesterday they also stood up and left in the middle of the game and went to play soccer. As far as I remember few games of monopoly are ever finished and it is only being played as a distraction. I´ve been feeling uncomfortable about chess because whatever way I start playing it I get mentally focused at one point or another along the way like yesterday. Yesterday I played chess so much I couldnt stop thinking about the game and several geometrical patterns that can be formed using the rules for movement of the chess pieces. So far I justified playing chess on the basis that I would only play it when invited, but even that is too much.

I think his name is Josey Migel (I may be mistaken) is here building a tower. I was standing to the right here, giving him cups to stack on and on with.

On a side note they also have stacking cups here about which I am glad to say that I´ve managed to inspire one of them how to build a tower with them that is stable enough to stand on its own, and be taller then myself and Walter, even so much that it reached the ceiling. This came about after I felt irrirated to see they didn´t try to reach the ceiling and were just building and collapsing the same horizontal structure over and over. So after a bit I started to make a vertical tower based on 3 cups. 3 cups next to eachother, 3 more cups on top in an interlacing pattern. And on and on and on. One of the kids gladly replicated it thereby reaching the ceiling and what seemed like twice his height - without any real help from me.

In that regard, we had a talk about this the same evening. We had a sangha of the buddha meeting about many things and Walter shared a lot about his vision for Yo Creo En Mi worth several pages of notes. But firstly I wanted to mention something that seemed to mostly bother Walter and has not been on the minds of everyone else. Many kids come here simply to play and many parents are glad about this, simply to be rid of their kids. But this is not what YCEM is about it, we are not a creche where you can put your children so you are not occupied with them. Some of the result of just letting them play here is that they are just distracting themselves and are scattered in no productive pursuit of any kind. Any the kids just playing around also makes housekeeping harder. Many times a room is not cleaned because the kids are all over it.


This scattered way of living seemed particularily apparant to me in the way in which the local version of monopoly is played. It is played without purpose or an end in mind and hardly any game of monopoly is ever finished. Kids dont try to make trades with eachother for streets to obtain a monopoly. They just thoughtlesly and aimlesly throw the dice and when they stop they throw everything back into the box very much out of order. Juliana one of the kids some times takes the monopoly games and re-orders everything again. But still slowly some game pieces are being lost, particularily of the chess boards. One set of chance cards of one out of three of the monopoly games is completely lost.


There is also a rule that the equipment at the foundation should only be used for the purposes of the Leadership programs of YCEM and not for entertainment. But it is not enforced all the time, or has not been. So sometimes some of the kids use the computer for entertainment or playing music, and so far they only music which is prohibited to be played loudly. They play the music on headphones though, but even still sometimes so loud you can hear it elsewhere. Most of the time most of the kids do productive things though. But the day stands out in my memory because the kids played a lot of games.

Overdue Update

Hey All,

It feels like so incredibly long since I last wrote and so I forgot many things. Perhaps because internally in me a lot has changed.

Dies y ocho (18) Noviembre, Hueves,

During one part of the day, Hugo I and some others went out for a walk... to... some... place... but what I remember is that we returned and saw Eider leading an activity, of creating book inserts or page markers.

Do you know what is said on each one? From top left to right. My español is still quite bad. I think the 1st says something like "I want to be a positive influence to all the beings on the Earth". The second I think says "I want to grow old and to help serve good causes". 3rd: "Begin with an end in mind - I want to be a great leader and to help the foundation forward" 4th: "Have clear goals and objectives" 5th: "This is too vague." 6th: "Begin with an end in mind - I want to be a great leader and to achieve rank Alef before I turn 18" 7th: "Live life with an end at heart" 8th: "Be Proactive ... ¿Do I take responsibility? ¿Do I control my reactions?" 9th: "Be Proactive" 10th: "Be Proactive, take responsibility for my relations and initiative"

Not the best translations, and there are some mistakes.

The kids working on it. There were what seemed like 20 to 30 kids working on this.

The kids borrowed her camera and took some pictures, also of Eider in the middle of this picture.

Diez y nueve (19) Noviembre, Viernes:
It was a busy day and supposed to be that. It was the closing of a leadership course. We went to the playground of the local school. There the kids played a game where you answer questions about the 7 habits. Along the playground are stone benches that many of us sat on. In the beginning it rained some.
Walter Yenny Eider I and a few other kids drew a numbered path on the playground floor. I was invited to draw a part of it after I chose to be a bit proactive by drawing a part of the game. .

Hugo, Eider, Christian (the little infant) with some of the kids

Laura and another young lady yelling to answer the questions

I think this young lady is Marly. Playing a game somehow related to the question answering game being played earlier on.

Marly & Christian. Marly is not Christians girlfriend. They were a team during the friday game.

And here we see the bigger scheme of things. The playground itself with the drawing of the playing board. 

At some point during the weekend after Hugo was done jogging he found a horse in our backyard. Once Hugo found a stick the horse got the hint that it should get off the property under the guidance of Hugo (and Eider) I saw it happen from a distance under a little roof (it was a little bit rainy).

It has been a long time since I last posted a blog post. Many things have happened. Not many that stand out in memory. Or for that matter so many at all. The first that comes to mind is a situation with the mothers and Me and also a few others.

I personally have decided again to be vegetarian and although I might still eat an egg at some point or another generally I will be eating a lot more fruit. Hugo has decided similarly to stop eating meat. I think Walter is still eating meat. Eider is not eating meat either and I think, neither anything which comes from animals (such as eggs and milk and their related products).

So why did this come up? During the Sangha of the Buddha on Monday, two days ago we were discussing things and it came up that one day I left the breakfast that was served to me on the table which confused the mothers. Now before I go anywhere else I think I need to give some background first. Around here many kids go to bed on empty stomachs and the mothers have to look at this situation, and have looked at it probably for their whole lives with their children and their brothers and sisters in a similar situation. I personally have no background or experience like this. Anyway a few days previous I was taking a nap in the early beginnings of the evening and while waking up I was feeling irritated in my intestines. After a couple of minutes I decided that I was only going to eat fruit for a couple of days (to flush our most of the food I felt was irritating my intestines), instead of the 3 generous warm meals which I had been obediently eating every day (for the last 3-4 weeks). After deciding this I walked to the kitchen where Hugo and someone else (I forgot) was preparing dinner and I broke down in emotions and the only thing I could figure out what the emotions were about was the irritation in my intestines, so I told him I only wanted to eat fruit for a couple of days. (Another reason that occurred to me later, was that I was being challenged by the Guru of Theosophia is the Way about pretty bad things I had written to the English Theosophian community earlier) I was expecting Hugo to tell the moms not to serve me breakfast, but I wasn´t clear in my communication. The unvoiced assumption led the moms the following morning to prepare a breakfast meal for me. When I woke up I did my things and left the plate, feeling too guilty to bring it back and thereby rejecting it even though I still ended up rejecting it by leaving it. I went to make fruits for myself and had that for breakfast (and also lunch and dinner). What made things so bad was that the moms felt rejected by me, as they didn’t know wether or not I was going to still eat my breakfast, even as flies started to descend on it. Keeping in mind that they are hurt by going to bed on empty stomachs and feeling the pain of seeing their brothers and sisters and children also go to bed on empty stomachs. I think it was very hurting to them. I was in friendly manner told I can eat what I think is best for me, but to bring back any food to the kitchen that I don´t eat.

But anyway, that night Walter received a dictation about food and related things. The masters through him said that animals are more sexual then us and that when we eat their meat we also take their drive to have sex into our bodies, which is detrimental to our wellbeing. Also the state of their emotions when the animals are killed is trapped in the meat, and so we also take that into our bodies when we eat meat. The animal farming practices in Colombia are very inhumane and artificial so I think it is very good not to eat the meat from here. Still, most moms here believe very much that meat is the epitome of food, so they want to serve meat (and eggs) a lot. Hugo said to me that some of the mothers will consider us crazy for not eating meat.

They also shared that honey is the concentrated loving sweetness of God, but that it is more important to experience this sweetness directly from the saints or the most high God (El Elyon) directly. It was also shared that Stevia (a popular sweetener around here) is detrimental to your wellbeing.

USaid and another entity in all likelyhood will be sponsoring a small store that will be run by the kids for the kids. The profits from the store will go to all the kids involved in it.

In the picture is one people of the two who are involved in this little project, teaching the kids.

Hugo wants them to be personally involved in it so that they are not just arbitrarily giving a sum of money. It is not in the spirit of proactivity and club Yo Creo En Mi to just accept money and have no other involvement with donors. In the picture the good man is teaching the kids about monetary concepts in small businesses.
What are the expenses of a store? Electricity, fuel for transport, water, rent, cost of the goods you sell and taxes. What is income? The money you receive from selling goods. What do you want to sell? The kids answer cake, vegetables, fruits like bananas, rice. It was suggested that the kids don’t just sell what they like themselves, but also what the customers in the area want. If I am going to set up shop, I can really use this advice of considdering consumer demands very well. It was also asked if they were going to sell cigarettes and alcohol. I assume they won´t.
Where do you set up the shop? On the side of a desolate mountain? No, too few customers. In the middle of the city? Many more customers there. Personally I suspect competition will be very strong there too. How much do the kids work? 7 days per month.

Some of the hierarchy had already been decided on. Afterward it will be switched around a bit. Yilber will be at the top of FLYCM, below Hugo & Walter who will not have pivotal roles in the project once it is started.  The kids will be running the purchase, sales, inventory and administration departments and the leaders of each department will report to Yilber. FLYCM is the name of the project (I don’t know what it means).

In the first days of December a group of the kids will go out to on a trip to the local mountains. It´s going to be a long overnight stay I suspect, depending on the weather. What are we going to do be doing exactly? I don’t know.

There is a lot of bussy-ness around it. The kids will be led in small groups led by leaders and above those I assume there will be more leaders.

Yesterday afternoon we (many of the kids) spent a while discussing who would lead who. The pre juvenile group had a hard time agreeing on one single thing and got a bit distracted while discussing.

Yesterday evening Eider and I also started to prepare a little English class we will try to give to the pre-juvenile group. We will be using lots of games. The juvenile group is a lot less likely to enjoy games and besides that they are busy setting up their little store which is more important right now.

Chritmas is approaching, and there have a few decorations made already. Epecially on the door of Walter & Vanesahs room.

Blessings to all. Hope to post a lot more later.

Hello All,

Things seem to be going slow right now, especially in my mind.

November 14: There was no-one home during the day, except me & Hugo. I got bored as Hugo was occupying the internet with Hoyos (the ever smiling and kind police man). So I wondered a bit and decided to try and make the gifted microscope we had received, work.

The thing didnt work that well, and was much less in quality then the quality I am used to, compared to what I am used at the analyst school I attended.

I concluded that we need a stronger lightsource then the mirror. We cant depend on the sun around here either. So I asked Hugo find a strong table light and tinfoil to try and focus the light from the lamp. We also need some sample glasses to put samples on and I've got to find and prepare a way to find some good samples to look at.

Before I explored the microscope I used some clay and paper to make a miniature earth (took me several hours of fidling around before I was satisfied). It took a lot of fidling around. The previous day Eider had made a paper thing with clay, which inspired me to do something similar. I think we will make it into a project to do with the kids. We will need to set some clear goal, too.

November 15: During the day Daniel & Yilbert wanted to extensively teach Eider about the first 3 habits of the 7 habits of highly effective people. I decided to join too. They would have taught me too a long time ago if I would have spoken Español by then. It took like an hour or two. I didn´t know it could take that long.
Ill give you some of my notes:

Habit 1: Be Proactive
Reactive people think "I have things to do", proactive people do things right away.
Reactive people think "don´t even try", proactive people think "I have a solution" and they act on it
Proactive people take responsibility for their lives.

Then we came to paradigms. Explained in various ways. In this image we see... this...
What do you see? An Eskimo or an Indian?

Well I disappointed them because I knew this illusion and said an indian and an eskimo.
But their point was, depending on your paradigms you see one thing or the other (or both, I add)
We can have paradigms about life like for example: Life is Unjust , the world is a tough place,
A negative person has negative paradigms. Your paradigms influence what you observe, which influence your actions which influence your results which you observe and the cycle goes round and round until it is broken.

For example a lot of people here receive money from the governmente every month and they blow it on alcohol and junk food for a week or few days and then starve the rest of the month. They are afraid they loose their money quick so by a twist of logic they spent it all before the end of the first week, it maintains the cycle of thinking you will be poor, acting like you will be poor, the result is you are poor, you see you are poor, you think you are poor, you act like you will always be poor...

Should you center your life on friends? Friends come and go. On your partner? They are not absolutely reliable either. On things? They come and go also and never satisfy for long. What then? Focus life on principles. Never failing, never dying, never going away, never disapparing, becoming powerless or meaningless.

Habit 2, begin with an end in mind (empezar con un fin en mente.

Before you get something, must imagine it in the mind. Write down your goals in life and express and pronounce them to others to stat making it manifest.
The president of General Electric said: Create your own destiny, don´t let someone else create it for you.
Think about someone that was a positive influence in your life and focus on one of his or her positive qualities you want to develop.
If 5 years from now there is an article about you from an interview with your mom dad and a good friend of yours, what do you want it to say?

Pronouncing your mission:
Step1: Choose 3 verbs that describe your mission. (I chose duty, family and Terra)
Examples: Teaching, Leading, Inspiring, Communicating, Creating, Giving, Motivation, Educating, Writing, Organizing, Directing, Maintaining, Translating, Defending, Evaluation, Protecting.

Step2: Chose your purpose (I chose Justice)
Creativity, Service, Justice, Liberty, Family, Equality, Power, Abundance, Harmny, Love, Order, Unity,. Coherence.

Step3: Chose in what sphere of life (I chose court of law)
People: Poor people, drug addicts, prostitutes, homeless people, stray animals, protected animals, wildlife preservation, adoscelent, etc.
Causes: Child protection, animal rights, spirituality, politics, womans rights, mens rights, invalids.
Causes: Economic, Finance, Law, Business, Political, Diplmacy, Agriculture, Technology, etc.

Eider also made something like this: But I dont remember what she put.

Habit 3: First Things First (Primero lo Primero)
Ingredient of lazyness:
"you can do tomorrow what you could do today"
Ingredient of leadership:
"Do today what you could do tomorrow."

I was to get up from my chair and be part of an example. They had two huge buckets Daniel could barely carry, one almost completely filled with tiny rocks. The tiny rocks represent things like goofing around, watching tv, playing computer games, dancing and all the other useless things. The rocks represent things like friends, studying, family, learning, school and the like). They wanted me to put the big rocks on top of the little rocks, but they wouldnt find... However if I put in the big rocks in the (now) empty bucket I could then poor the little rocks over them and fit everything in a single bucket. They were a little disappointed I already knew the tricks for this example as I also knew the Indian optical illusion.

Part of the presentation was also the Emotional Bank Account. I´m not sure what this had to do with habit 3, but alas...
The emotional bank account. If you put value in a persons emotional bank account they will feel grateful to you and want to help you and accept you as a leader. If you are indebted to them they will not be your friend or want to be led by you.

The way to deposit into a Emotional Bank Account is by being humble, generous, by fullfilling your promises, by generous acts, by being loyal, by listening, apologizing and setting clear goals.
You take out of the Emotional Bank Account is being being arrogant, selfish, forgeting your promises, bad actions, gossiping, not apologizing and being vague about your goals.

At this point it seemed the presentation was done and were 1-2 hours later at lunch time. We applauded smiling very much :)

A South American Thesophian let Hugo and Walter know that there is a family of 6 kids and a father I think at Cali who are in danger of losing their house to a river that is flooding because of the many rains.So yesterday Hugo I Eider and random townsfolk walked around everywhere to find out if we could find a place for them at Roldanillo. We walked from home to home and said hi to atleast 50 people. The foundation seems to be quite well known around here, by now. And also well liked by most of the people.
The home we did find had free rent (and personally I thought I would pay money for someone to live there). It is basicly a small collection of rooms and a tiny courtyard and a kitchen. No hardware, no furniture. But it is a roof and a place with a door and a lock. They needed something with a rent of 20$ usd (40.000 Colombian Peso) or less.
Toward the end of our search it was becoming night, and the mosquitos were abounding, especially around my feet and lower legs, which have little hair.



Yesterday seemed like a rather uneventfull day, and it was usually somewhat moist outside. I think the evening on the previous day I Eider and Hugo talked. Or rather, Hugo related a lot and we related a few thing too. Hugo has been in prison, locked up with murderers and thieves. And he was relating how that helped him to understand the problems the country faces. Because for example, the criminals get worse in prison and when they get out again they have no future, they didnt learn any skills and the fact they just got out of jail basically bars them from a real job. On top, they usually have no money. So when you get out if you have no friends or family you are homeless and a long history of learning bad things from your cellmates. Then they have nothing to do except that which got them into jail, to survive.
By teaching the kids valuable skills they aspire now not to be drug lords (or the wives of Drug Lords), but like Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Albert Einstein or Hellen Keller, Saint Therese and other good role models. Many kids who came used to want to be the top dogs in crime, but now not any more!

Another thing that came up was food and how a few times Hugo noticed a lot of darkness entering him through some foods, sometimes without knowing what caused it before he asked about the ingredients. One time he was on a market and he bought some type of fish and ate it and the instant he swallowed he noticed the darkness entering him almost tangibly. He wondered why that was, surely fish is good right? He asked Walter and Walter told him, haven´t you red the bible? The bible says don´t eat any fish that doesnt have scales. It turns out Hugo probably ate some squid or crab.
We both had the same experience with Pork at one or another point.

This sensitivity to darkness in food did not grow over night, it took years before Hugo started noticing things like it.

We (Hugo & Me) being men cooked together with Eider several times now especially in the evening and the weekend. We discovered the godly combination of mango/papaya this way. Oh, what good (and bad) things can happen when you leave men in the kitchen!

Yesterday... hmm... what did we do yesterday...
Not much that I remember. The most noteable thing was the Sangha of the Buddha in the evening. I had been pushing Hugo a little bit to talk to Walter about inviting Vanesah into the weekly discussion about the goings on at the foundation, since she is a big part of it. Anyway, I have the impression Hugo thought it would be much harder for Walter to invite her in that it actually was. It was an hour before the meeting and Hugo had still not talked to Walter about it.

But when the meeting started, Vanesah walked in and sat down and as it turned out Hugo had talked to Walter and Walter said yes we can do that. It was quite nice to have Vanesah with us (Me, Hugo, Walter, Josey) at the Sangha. Josey had come back from doing things in Cali. Carlos is still out of Roldanillo (has been for half a week now) and we expect him back today. I´m not sure if I mentioned it but Esperanza is out in cali taking care of things with her son and I´m not sure if or when she will come back because of a situation I´ve been asked not to post too much about it.

I wasnt privy to everything but we talked among other things about men / woman roles and what they are in the new age to come. Men can do womans work and woman can do mens work. But still, some men should better not cook... atleast not Josey according to everyone here. He cooked once and it was so terrible he will probably never cook again.

Many stories were related about attracting unbalanced mothers. They were praying here for mothers to bring the place into balance and they attracted some very strange ones. One was extremely mothering, feeding food very often, way too often. It was too much absolutely.

Once a lady was giving a speech to other woman (and some men) and she was at first talking about how woman shouldnt allow some types of sex but then continued to go on about her sex life with her husband and some embarassing things I dont think her husband would want her to talk about it. That was not the funniest part, the funniest part was when she wanted to teach Vanesah what she did and Vanesah simply wanted to run away... I can´t blame her...

Josey mentioned that many colombian woman go to spain to be cared for spanish men and in exchange the men can demand any type of sex they want from the woman, which spanish woman would want.

Some of the mothers are very sensitive to the comments we can make about the food so we have to be careful not to hurt them in that way. The Mothers cook for the kids mostly.

In one instance some kids were making drinks to sell, and Carlos said dont add any sugar. But without sugar it tasted way too bad. We concluded that we shouldn´t try and force other people to eat like we do.
Some of us like me Hugo and Eider try to eat without sugar.

None except Walter should tell moms what is needed, otherwise it can become very confusing and discouraging for moms. I hope I will see cooking dads around here, some time, too.

It was a refreshingly lighthearted Sangha of the Buddha

Before the meeting I and Vanesah played 4 matches of chess. I always play my usual agressive style,. sprinting king or queen pawn 3 squares ahead if I can and trying to sprint another pawn 3 squares away also 3 squares ahead and going on from there.
I won all 4 matches against Vanesah.  Then Josey returned and we had a quite nice match. I lost it in the end. At one point I lost my queen to an absent minded mistake... but I maintained my inner sense of peace and eventually managed to even the score by taking his queen. But now I grew overconfident and made mistake that eventually led to my loss. I was trying pretty hard to remain in my heart and equelibrium. Humming a mantra and singing a little bit sometimes. Josey also hummed quite a bit, and Vanesah was watching and distracting me a bit too.

I was playing black. Hosey (opposite of me) white. There is a wall of pawns to the right.

that will be all for now. Vanesah invited me to play some chess and Eider wants to check her email.

Have a blessed and fruitful day!

Men and Mothers

a todo buenos día,

Yesterday evening a subject came up that is quite important. It relates to men and woman and the roles we take on. ¿How can I best start to reveal the subject?

Well, right now basically we have a lot of mother and woman volunteers and who cook for us, wash our plates, wash our clothes and keep the house clean. Eider was growing a bit annoyed by this fact, that woman were basically only in "woman's" roles and the men in "men's" roles.

She got the impression Vanesah was being surpressed. Well, hmm. She did ask her and she was indeed thinking to herself ¿why should I always be the one doing the cooking? (We know this because Eider asked and related this to us) Eider also noticed that I didnt always go to the kitchen to atleast wash my own dishes.

I also related in this discussio with Hugo, Eider, Josey (a volunteer) and myself that once I asked Esperanza to repair my pants because there was a hole in them and that after the trip the caves it had a hole in them again and this time I was growing weary of having to ask for help with this so I wanted to ask her to teach me how to fix my pants this time. I suspect Hugo translated it simply that I wanted to ask Esperanza to fix my pants twice without wanting to learn how to do it, because Eider took that as an example of a male dominated attitude toward woman.

And as I type this Vanesah is mopping the floor in the room that I am typing this in which makes typing about this all the more awkward. For me my mind is focused on this this morning. I was hoping to cook some breakfast but by the time I got to the kitchen Vanesah was already busy. So I need to wake up much earlier and not sleep in as much as I do. But I also need to learn some key phrases, because the language barrier is still hard. Hugo & Eider are not handheld translation tools for me. I did wash my own dishes this morning and a few other things that were lying around to be washed.

Whereas most woman feel like fish in water I feel like a fish in the afternoon desert for as far as the kitchen and household things are concerned, especially when it is not expected of me that I do these things and I dont feel confident to try and express my self in español.

This time also I saw Christian (a young 1-2  year old infant boy that Walter adopted) running around and I took some time to play with him and I smelled he soiled his diapers and I got afraid again because I would almost invariably embarass myself to no end if I´d try to ask if I could change his diapers. Even typing this sentence out is a hard task... so I move on the subject without further adoo.

This morning I remarked to Hugo "¿So, we're going to learn how to cook?". He replied laughing, affirming that we don't have much experience with that. He suggested we could make some fried potatoes with avocado :).

Another very embarassing thing that was mentioned was that the moms basically adopted me as their foster child (and I didn´t realize it until 2 weeks after I came here)

Tomorrow evening there is a group meeting. Now before I say anything else I want to mention that in 3 years time, Vanesah herself has never been invited to the group meeting where we talk about issues that we want to bring up. If we had an issue we would talk to Walter and Walter to Vanesah. And I suppose this also has the air of chauvinism. She is not a member of a spiritual teaching and is somewhat into "worldly" ways. I put "worldly" in quotes because I still think much of her and worldly seems like a deragatory word. Eider thinks and we agree that she needs to have a voice in the goings on around here and I personally think not indirectly through Walter.

I was so surprised to hear she had never been invited to this weekly group meeting where issues are discussed, not for a month or half a year but even 3 full years. She is very much a part of the group, even if she is not in the spiritual teachings we are in and even though she is not directly involved in the programs of YCEM. I feel she should have been given the opportunity to be a part of it a long time ago. So the next meeting I really hope she will be invited, I´ll try and see to it.

One barrier to her participation in the goings on was suggested is that she is not in the teachings. I also have a faint suspicion that we suspect she wont be able to understand our language because *I think* we tend to use too much ascended master language in these meetings which "outsiders" probably wont understand!
Muchas bendiciones a todos en El Elyons su Libro de vida!

Troubles and Visions

¡Hola amado y amada familia, amigos y amigas!

Eider, a visitor who may soon turn out to become a volunteer has been with us for several days now. Recently she lost 100.000$ peso, which is about a 60$ and around here is a considerable amount of money. With it you can sponsor a kids communal dining and leadership program for a month.

It was discussed yesterday evening and before that on Tuesday. On tuesday it was brought up officially. 100.000$ Peso was stolen. We want to know who it was but most remain focused on the fact that we can not just accuse anyone at random, we need evidence without doubt about who it is.

That tuesday we decreed and prayed for the good outcome of this situation and at the end of it I got a name very strongly in my head. I didnt tell anyone for a day. Wednesday we talked again and this time I mentioned that I got a name very strong. It was after one of the volunteers suggested we go to a phychic. I had strong reservations about that, because this person is very dark and used the threat of cursing someone to gain personal benefits. For example, she threatened to curse a policeman unless he would marry her. Because of her reputation as being a true witch, the policeman did marry her. I felt strongly that whatever would come asking for her help would get us into trouble.

It that point, I thought "well if you want a psychic revelation, I got a name tuesday after we prayed and decreed". But I felt very bothered the fact I got a name, because I only have a name and no evidence, no proof! I cant just accuse anyone, this conflict tore me up inside until I told the group I got a name. We agreed that I shouldn´t tell anyone, but that there is a reason I got a name or this name. That feels right in my heart, but I keep wondering why I got a name.

It was mentioned so many times we cant just randomly accuse anyone of things until we are certain based on evidence that they are true facts. And many times some of the kids did something wrong like stealing some money, or intending to and they were given new chances and the explanation that what they did was wrong. In this culture it is generally accepted that stealing is normal and acceptable. Also, almost everyone here did at one or another point in their lives steal one or another thing. On top of that there is a strong tendency to keep silent about things, or lie and avoid issues. Personally I dont remember stealing anything, I do remember lying and trying to hide things to avoid issues.

Some of the kids have seen their parents do bad things so they considder it normal. So if one of those kids then steals and you are harsh on that kid expecting that the kid should have known it was wrong, then you do a lot of harm. Many bad things here are deeply ingrained in the culture. We can not expect everything bad to go up in a puff of smoke and good things to descend just because of our presence. At the end of the day we do our best to have discernment and good judgment, but also compassion and mercy.

Another issue is that sometimes a project gains a lot of momentum, like for example Project Patchwork. When Esperanza came here she intended to stay for just 1 month, but she started Project Patchwork which is a project of making cushions with pretty pictures sewn onto them. Then we sell them at a local small farmers cooperative market. Several kids liked it, even some of the boys. But because it was feminine and because we seem to have taken on that bias against the feminine things in life, it was ignored until the momentum and motivation of the kids had far fallen from its high. So we missed an opportunity to tap into some good talent there.

a while ago a young lady came to the foundation. She was very strong in many areas and weak in another. She was taught and her weak area become her strongest point. She grew a lot, but outside the foundation she liked to dance to regaton and other sexual music. She has the reputation of being promiscuous. Hugo and Walter told her many times that she had to learn the disciplines and so not do these things. If the foundation continued to teach her, she could become a great power for the worse of the planet. So eventually it was decided they have to let her go. It was particularily required of her to leave a friend of hers who was involved in child prostitution but she did not leave him. A while after she was disallowed from coming she came back and wanted to attend the fun activities of Yo Creo En Mi but it was not allowed because even when she was asking this she refused to accept the discipline side of Yo Creo En Mi. You cant just accept the fun side of YCEM alone, but also the more bitter and meaty parts. Later she also asked for some money from both Hugo and Walter because she is in trouble and wants to move to another place because her Grandmother is throwing her out the house. Hugo and Walter did not give her any money, only good advice. She was given the opportunity to choose a better way, but has not shown that she is changing for the better in this regard. Recently we found out that she was known as being promiscuous and that she smokes pot.

I do want to note that 95% of the kids here have principles, they have so much good at heart!

About half of the group that went to the swimming pool yesterday. Eider on the yellow/blue dress. I dont remember everyones names.

In the above photo we are on a walk back from the swimming pool. We went there yesterday. about 15 of us, a lot of the kids with leadership over other kids. There we had a lot of fun and after lunch Walter talked about the vision of the organization. He gave advice about dealing with problems. Like for example if you have a problem with a kid then go to the kids leader and if that leader cant solve the problem, go to that leaders leader and so forth until you find someone who really help solve the problem.

I think if I heard Eider translate Walter accurately then Walter also asked the kids who have iniative to take iniative by creating new activities. Walter also talked about how he has the vision to put more foundations like these in foreign countries and other places in general and I get the feeling he wants very it soon rather then tomorrow and he wants the young leaders to help. That really impressed me, because these kids are young. ¡He truly has a lot of faith in the kids capacity to lead!

Walter while talking about his vision of the foundations mission

15 December the foundation closes for a month. It is sharpening the foundation its soul time then. There will be planning for a month and I will depart before it is over. So 15 December is probably the last time I see many of the kids here. Some of the kids do want to attend the upcoming conference in some way and Hugo requires them to put up some sort of effort, because attendees to the conference are also paying for their stay. Personally I was scared at the prospect of the foundation closing for a month, there wont even be communal dining. This agreement was made with the moms in the neighbourhood. What will I do without activities going on? At any rate, 15 December is about 32-33 days away.

Today the a man of the red cross came and taught the kids and a few volunteers while I was writing blog posts and reading emails. Like how to put a broken leg into a caste and other things which I did not hear. The good man is still teaching at the moment that I type this.

If I am given 10 more sets of hands, I am still not capable of typing about everything fast enough.

Even then, have a good and blessed life!

Peaceful and steady paces forward

Hey All,

Like 3 days ago Hugo, Me, Eder Walter, Yilbert, Daniel and a few others walked over to a house of a friendly family to shoot some shots for Yennies expedition to a police fair I hope I mentioned a lot. A took a few picture, one of them is directly below.

Yilber talked a lot about the 7 habits with E(i)der, a new quest who may turn out to be a volunteer (she doesn´t know how long she wants to stay) and very useful, because she doubled the amount of people that can speak and understand English at the foundation, on top of that she is not constantly occupied with doing things like Hugo is. She doesnt speak English better then me, but she understands and speaks very well. Yilber was talking her ears off in the photo below.

The day afterward the Juvenile group went out with me Walter and Eider for a small excursion to a cave. It was a grand fun time. It was a bit warm weather but very pleasent all together. We walked and walked up hill, to a hole in a fence to the little hiking trail which required a knotted rope to walk. It had rained quite a bit so we had to cross a river with a lot of flowing water. Walter carried a few kids across and the rest used their own two feet and hands.

On the other side we met Monica & I think the other one was also called Monica. They are two lovelady young ladies who went along to the cave. Once at the cave we went. It didnt seem like we were taking huge leaps. We are going steady and safely at this point in what seems like a very relaxed motion.

Recently Hugo was busy talking with one of the Kids called Laura. What it was about I dont know. Josey (pronounced Hosey) came and also asked something of Hugo and hugo replied sit down Hosey I will talk to you after I´m done talking with Laura. So Josey sat down. But in the meantime I interrupted him and he answered me, then after he was done with Laura other kids came and Hugo talked with them. So Hugo forget Josey in that moment, and that was a pretty sore experience for Josey and Hugo as well when he realized it. Why?

Josey felt he was being forgotten and perhaps also that there was a double standard, because he was not allowed to interrupt but others were. When Hugo was done talking with the other kids he got to Josey but by this time Josey got annoyed and said he didnt want to talk about anything and he went away.

Hugo felt pretty guilty. Hugo tried to apologize to Josey. Hugo tried to keep his inner peace but it showed that he was not.

So what is important to notice in this situation, did Hugo neglect Josey? He probably did and it was sore but mistakes like this will be made more times, and we have to deal with them and not destroy ourselves by feeling any more guilty then is useful.

Before Hugo related this, I, Hugo and kids went for a walk (lasting an hour) to Roldanillo during a period we did not have internet acces, we were headed for an internet cafe and a grocery store. I was using a stick to aid me in walking, because my right upper leg or right lower back is a little painful while walking. I also couldnt help but feel like some sort of patriarch and his brother like Moses & Aaron because of the stick. Beside the main road we walked alongside of I notice and ask what the various crops are that are being grown in the area.

Hugo related that some of them are sugarcane crops. Sugarcane has replaced many of the crops that were grown here. It is a crop which can be mechanized so that little labor is required. So with the advent of this crop, there less work for the people to earn their living with. On top of that, sugar cane is used to create food that takes the place of true natural and nourishing food. I pointed out that many of the people at the foundation were using sugar, and that it is hard to make the sugar cane go away for more productive things, but Hugo replied that it is hard to take it out because without sugar many things taste badly. If we dont serve tasty food, the kids wont eat or eat worse things instead. : below is a picture of some sugar cane.

Another issue is meat and chicken particularily. When we were shooting the videos for Yennys presentation at the police fair, I noticed a horrible smell coming from a tiny chicken farm (a few hen houses). I was surprised that the hen houses were dark inside and probably filled with a lot of chickens. I was so surprised to see the factory farming approach in the backyard of local people here. The hen house was shut off from sun light and the open spaces which would allow air to blow through were largely covered with plastic. Ugh.

The subject was brought up yesterday in a meeting, and Hugo I and I think Eider wanted to stop eating meat because of the practices. But we also need a good replacement, because we can´t just arbitrarily stop eating meat. We need some real food in its place. Just rice and bread every day is very stale but it is served at almost every meal. On the other hand, there are some very tasty soups here too! Altough I get the impression a lot of that taste comes from refined salt.

It is then I reiterated my enthusiasm about fruit. We need that fruit so much! Fruit orchards provide labor, require few to no pesticides or chemical fertilizers. "mega crops" like rice, sugar cane and grains in general have a strong tendency to be fueled by chemical fertilizers which destroy the vitality of the soil and the vitality and nutrients in the plant which we need for our nourishment. We notice the lack of it when food tastes stale. Back here the oranges are super tasty, even more then the oranges I am used to in the Netherlands.

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Esperanza is the kind lady, Josey on the right, Pipe in blue shirt, Filipe to his left and Christian in green to the left. They were eating mango at the internet cafe.

I do know a lot of things about food and I think I can cause a little revolution here considdering food and how to change to a more natural and healthy diet that nourishes. I have put a presentation about nourishment on my to-do list. That to-do list is growing by the day. Sometimes also shrinking, God-bless.

Have a good day in Spirit and Truth made expedient and a blessing to all!

Sander

Backyard Camping

Hello dear all,

Esperanza is the lady who helped the kids sew little pictures onto cushions (I mistakingly called her Sonja 2 blog posts ago). She is very good at things that are done with thread and needle and she cooks very well. My pants had started to grow a hole on the left knee and she repaired it very well at my request. I don´t wish to speak ill of her though but sometimes she serves drinks that just aren’t tasty without adding sugar to it. (in my opinion adding artificial/refined sugar to anything is unhealthy.) But some times the drinks are quite tasty too, I especially like the rice flavored drinks. She embodies motherly qualities excellently. She is very patient and disciplined. I just noticed she prays over the food here. I do delight so much to see anyone pray.

I want to pick up where I left off at the last blog post. Esperanza had embraced me as a true mother would a crying child, which I appreciate so oh so much. She went to make dinner. The sadness and crying I´d felt went away and I felt much brighter, lighter and happier then I felt just moments before my head hit the ground hard the same day.

The night had fallen on the area, which happens quite abruptly because of the mountains. Kids were gathering because we were having a slumber party in the back yard (which is quite a big backyard). But before then we watched a movie about an elephant and a particle in which many tiny beings were housed. The elephant talked to the particle and eventually one of its inhabitants started replying. It was like God talking to creation and a creation talking back. Are you real? Can you really make it day or night? The elephant used his shadow over the particle to show he did truly have control in that way. For a long time they communicated and communicated. In the meantime many things happened. The creation in the particle was asking the elephant if he could put the particle somewhere where it would be forever safe… so the elephant set out on the adventure to make it so. The elephant was in the jungle where everything was growing and eating and being eaten and constantly changing, not a safe enviroment for a particle. Along the way to the mountain with a cave containing a sunflower our elephant hero meets opposition from apes, a kangaroo mother with her son and a vulture the kangaroo mother convinces to help her to talk this crazy idea out of the elephants head. But regardless, the elephant gets closer and closer to the mountain. The vulture finds him and takes the rose-pink flower with the particle and after a long chase dumps it in a massive field of pink flowers, making the one flower with the particle extremely hard to find. But the elephant (I think represents God) keeps looking and looking, making huge stacks of plucked particle-less flowers. Eventually he collapses from exhaustion, the wind picks up and blows the plucked flowers all over the place. Our elephant friend starts to panic for a moment but then recognizes the flower with the particle floating around in the wind. He chases after it and with so much delight catches it again!

There he continues his path back to the mountain to give it a safe place. Back home the Kangaroo gets the news that the vulture she tried to get to help her failed her; and by some strange way and oratorical display manages to convince the whole jungle to run after the elephant to stop him from taking the particle to the sanctuary at the top of the mountain.

The jungle army overtakes our elephant friend and ties him down, drags him into a cage and takes his so dearly loved flower with the particle. He had been talking and talking to the particle and its inhabitants and the one hero on the other side was on the inside of the particle trying to convince everyone else that the world of the particle is not everything there is, but that there is much more, or in this case our elephant hero! Finally the particle insider friend convinces everyone that if the elephant can perform what a miracle to them that they will believe, but It turns out our elephant friend can not because by this time an ape was holding the flower with the particle and could not perform any miracles. The jungle army did not believe that the particle had any life. Finally In desperation the elephant begs and pleads to the particle to express its being and make a lot loud and beautiful music so everyone can hear and believe that the particle is not just an empty useless something. The particle inhabitants did not realize the danger they were in, but they did carry with the idea and made so much music, so much music that at the point that the flower with the particle that they lived on was falling down into a boiling pot that would destroy it. But, the son of the kangaroo mother was inspired to jump out and chase the flower! Mom called to her on but he did not obey. The son catches the flower with particle and all just in time, hears the music and lets the others hear. Everyone is convinced. Our elephant friend is rejoiced that the particle who was so much in danger did surive and now even mother Kangaroo (who started all the persecution of our elephant friend) is finally convinced of her error of not believing in life on that little particula.

Personally, I have seen such movies with grand displays of technological cunning, but to these kids here at Yo Creo En Mi I think its something that expands their horizon, especially with movies like these which I think was good. We (about 15 of us) were watching together and Esperanza prepared some popcorn for all.

Afterwards we went outside. Walter took his laptop outside and tried to use a program to show the constellations to the kids while others wandered elsewhere. I discovered Walter was doing this about 5 minutes after he started. I joined and tried to look as well but the sky was mostly covered in clouds.

We had prepared some firewood earlier In the day. So some time later Walter piled it up with some plastic at the bottom, poured some gasoline over it and Vanesah set fire to it. To me it seemed it would not burn. I got the impression Walter did not know how to start a fire, even with the help of gasoline. After contemplating for 15 minutes and seeing that nobody was trying to save the fire I start messing around with it (it had reduced to a small smoldering fire) and started to collect small firewood and branches around the core of the fire. I put one of the bigger pieces of wood over it so it would eventually catch fire. I was a bit doubtful it would work, but felt It important to try to make the fire work, because camping without a bonfire just isn’t camping, ¿am I not right? It was a good thing there was a Fiery Salamander around.

Some of the kids and adoscelent, myself taking the picture.

The fire after it got going very nicely

So we get going and chatting on a bench (elevated beam of wood) nearby. The kids try to get me to say "I love you" to a few of the girls and "you are crazy to some of the young men". Eventually some of us start trying to play hide and seek, mostly the younger people. At first I have no clue how to play and stand around and turn out to become a hiding place in the hide and seek game, as Yenny was using me to hide behind. I was beginning to realize I might as well unconspiciously walk forward to help Yenny get closer and closer to the place she needs to be to win the game, heheheh. Eventually they goad me into joining. I suspect Corra Corra, means Hide Hide. Colombian language is still hard. I went the first round with Yenny and she awkwardly tries to explain her directions to me in Spanish. I try to do what she suggests but absolutely fail horribly as I do whatever shouldn’t be done in Colombian hide and seek. But we had all in all a great time! One of the rounds I was the one to ferret everyone out from hiding, but I didn’t realize I needed to call peoples names to cause them to be counted out! And to boot and I still don’t having everyones names in memory.

They also convinced me to sleep in one of the backyard tents. Finally I manage to pick one after Hugo came out from his slumber to see the bonfire and the goings on. We were sitting around chatting or trying to chat and I get sleepy and get my blanket to sleep inside one of the tents. My will to stay awake was already strongly fading. I lay down after reading the fire English fire warning to (I suspect) Filipe. Now this wasn’t comfortable, there wasn’t an airbed or mattress. But finally I manage to find a position under my blanket I can sleep in. Less then an hour later it starts to rain and decides the tents should be moved to the hall of the foundation building. So I wake up again, realizing its going to be a long morning to sleep in. Slow and dazed I take a zombie walk over to my actual bed at the foundation.

To some it may not look like much that there are these things going on with the kids, but without it they would have no fellowship and little hope for a future. Where I come from activities and kids playing is quite normal but here it is a rather grand exception and very much needed refreshment and nourishment to the souls of these children.

What I feel in my heart Is that these kinds of things are very healing for the kids, to have fellowship with their own kin and good teachers in good activities with people who love them. They are taught responsibility and iniative, to put truly spiritual and important things first, to hold a vision for their future, to think in terms of winning not just for their own salvation but the salvation of their brothers and sisters, to understand others before demanding sympathy and understanding themselves, to synergize in cooperation (and not destruction In competition) and to nourish their bodies, emotions, souls and the spirit which gave us life.

Live well and charitous, Sander Fiery Salamander

Another glorious day at the foundation

Hey All,

Yesterday was pretty interesting. Hugo was out and had taken the internet (via his cellphone) with him, Walter took his laptop away. So I was left without the internet, I got bored and wandered around the yard. It had recently rained. I went looking around. Set on a slide at the playground, went to the soccer field and checked to see if the goals of the soccer field were strong enough - after 10 years of not practicing gymnastics - to practice gymnastics again. I decided it was not worth trying. Then I went to the big hole that is going to be a fish lake at some point. There I found a funny looking yellow ant or ant look alike. By now my sandals got packed with mud as it had recently rained.

I found a frisbee at that same hole and Vanesah (Walter´s wife) came over and we decided to throw and chase frisbees. After about 5 tosses of good fun, she threw it way too far so I decided to chase after it running with some enthusiasm. On the way there, the foot that was behind slipped on the mud. I fell head long down. From 2 meters to 0, headlong. I was relatively unharmed everywhere, but my head landed in such a way that nothing slowed it down before it hit the ground. Fortunately I had my tongue in the right place, my upper and lower jaw hit eachother without wreaking any sort of havoc worth the name. My head hit the ground and I suspect gave me a light concussion. The ground itself was just wet soil and not concrete, nothing on the skin of head shows that it hit the ground from 2 meter high fall.

I do have something else to show for my little fall.

My left elbow was only slightly stratched. My right elbow bled like 2 drops of blood. The red blotch in the photo is where it came from. My left arm feels a little funny so I think I pulled a little muscle somewhere along the fall of this goliath. A little seemingly strained muscle in my left arm prohibits me from wanting to practice gymnastics for atleast another couple of days.

Anyway, I fell... and I realised I fell pretty hard... so I was laying there. Vanesah fast approaching. my head is facing straight forward for now and I decide that I have to show some sign of life so Vanesah isnt going to think im unconscious so I lay down more comfortably by laying my head down on my right cheek, I was not in a hurry to get up and running again. I try and feel what seems hurt and what does not. There didnt seem to be much but I wanted to be careful. I was worried I´d have mud all over me and wanted to prevent any more of it from getting on my clothes but I soon gave up on that idea because my clothes were already practically soiled any how. I could now safely surrender the idea that I could prevent myself from invoking the generousity of the volunteers, considdering the state I was now in.

After a bit Yilbert, Walter and a few others approach. I find out Walter is a nurse and he checks me out. By now I´d already decided to sit up on my rear end in a kind of lotus position (on mud and grass), embracing my knees with my arms. I showed that no bones were broken or out of place. I had already started crying and getting emotional and I dont know why. I thought the 2 meter fall of my head had to do with it. I suspected someone in the spirit realm was complicit. I dont think I really mind if it was ment to be, I think it was for a higher purpose.

Vanesah and Esperanza led me to a water basin and cleaned up places to clean and disinfect any possible places on my body that may be wounded. Then an awkward situation arises which I acredit to Hugos (the only one who really speaks English around here) absence, because I wanted to take a shower and needed some new clothes but couldnt communicate in Spanish with the words I needed to make myself clear, or the understanding of the words being spoken to me. Many smiles and light laughs were given as I did not understand what was being said.

Eventually I go into the shower and Vanesah gives me my towel and I clean myself up. I go move to the main hall and sit down on a chair. Esperanza disinfects the little wound I showed you Hugo comes and puts some sort of algae cream on my elbow which very slowly absorbs into arm, I still feel it 24 hours later. He said this stuff was ¨very good¨ (with his limited English) and I trust him.

I decide to move to the little work room next to the mens sleeping room with 3 bunk beds and Vanesah follows even though I have not many words por la communicacion con mi amigos y amigas (for communication with my friends and lady friends). I sit down in my favorite chair, she in the reclining chair not far away. Many mildly awkward moments pass and I cry and cry and feel emotional, return to seeming normal and start crying all over... I think 15 minutes later Hugo returns and now Esperanza was also nearby. Then finally it is asked how I feel hurt and I say it is not physical pain but more something else, feelings I dont know for sure where they come from.

The first thing I remembered (that could be the reason for my emotions) as I related this incident to a friend, was Yilber. At the same time that this incident was going on, Hugo was coincidently visiting Yilbers parents. Yilber told Hugo his parents agreed to talk to him about the situation I described in the previous post, so Hugo went right away (without me noticing). This was soon before I slipped. It seems Yilbers parents allow Yilber to come again (big chance that he will, even if they prohibit it) but (I think) we are all concerned the same gossiping lady will rant and rave that we are demon worshippers again and that his parents will again be swayed the other way. I get the feeling Yilbert may be in for a tougher challenge then he has to date and if I´m right and he victorious then his story (about how he faced his challenges so he can come to the ashram at Yo Creo En Mi) could encourage my fellow Theosophians (¡you know who you are!) to face their challenges too to come here for the conference this turn of the year!

I feel its going to be a very good conference.

So I was sitting in my favorite chair, it was a rocking chair. After a bit I put my hands to my sides and leaned a bit. Still going back and forth between crying and sobbing; and being on the verge of crying and sobbing. I kept going over thoughts, some of which returned the crying to me as I tried remembering and thinking things which I knew could cause me to cry more. It was a little embarrassing.

Now Esperanza was here with me too and Hugo then came (which enabled communication) and they asked me something I forgot and I replied I don’t feel physical pain, but I´m feeling emotional. At that point Esperanza came and embraced me. I was sitting and she was holding me with her hands from just about the height of my shoulders to my head and rubbing my hair like a mother would, she held me like that for what felt like an hour… and I cried and sobbed, and cried, and sobbed, and cried and I do not know exactly why. Then she left to prepare dinner for us all, (God forgive me for forgetting what it was, I´m sure it was tasty) leaving with the parting words “Express your heart” simple and powerful. I shy-ly said Aqui (pointing to her heart) and then Aquí (pointing to my own heart) and she said yes yes or something to that effect. (Aqui means “Here”).

That was such a nurturing experience, then I started to realize even more how much Yo Creo En Mi is needed for the salvation of the kids and their souls. They´re doing their best here and doing the work God gave them, or us.

Blessings,

Sander Buruma

A day at the foundation

Hello dear all,

The last few days have been tiring. The food here is quite good and the fruits very varied and gusto mucho (very tasty). I will probably convince Hugo and Walter that we absolutely need to have as much fruit of as many as possible types here for an international Theosophian conference that we are having around Christmas and New Year.

But I´m running on empty and they seriously serve like 3 large warm meals every day of the week. Im sleepy. Interacting with the kids even if I am just sitting still and talking is tiring. My voice is still (and has been for 3 to 4 days) a little bit shot from the daily singing and decreeing session.

A couple of days ago in the morning or evening (I seriously do not remember…) I was done doing something and Hugo was sitting next to me in front of the computer. I was paying attention to the light I felt in my being… and then poof! ¡It was gone! There was suddenly darkness a moment after I said something to Hugo which I would have only said if I felt the light and God his blessings on me. But anyway, the instant I finished saying that I felt the light leave me and I became afraid that I would eventually do things acting out from this sudden feeling of darkness (and also that I had lied about something, I don’t remember what it was exactly). Afraid that I would do serious harm here ¿¡Where had the light and the blessings gone?! I was not panicking, but I was slowly growing a little concerned. I kept thinking in myself, what now? Then I the thought came to mind that no matter how much darkness I am in, I will choose the light. And I chose for that and then the light that I need so much returned, but this time I was given a lesson in first looking to God and not his blessings.

Hugos perseverance does show itself to me, even though that doesn’t mean he is all powerful and a hero who never sleeps. Hugo is constantly busy (even while his body sleeps), seemingly forgetting himself in his sacred work here and it certainly is sacred and blessed. It shows in the way the kids love this place and how they love him and how he loves them and how they both embrace each other. But some things are taking a toll on him probably much more then it shows on the outside. Today he is taking naps and sleeping early. I think he could use our prayers and support a lot.

This morning Hugo related to me that Yilber (in English pronounced as Gilber), a very dear participant who has been with us for a long tiempo (time) is in a challenging situation. Colombia here is mostly Catholic Christian. A lady told his parents that we worship the devil. She probably said this because we (the volunteers) give mantras to beings that are not associated with the catholic faith. We do have Mother Mary and Jesus Christ but also Buddha, Hanuman, Shiva, all the Archangels, Saint Germain, El Morya and others. I don’t know exactly what she said but it seemed like she said that every night or some nights we get together around a bonfire and personally bow down to the devil. I imagined that practically means dancing naked around a fire heckling like medieval witches. Yilbers parents have prohibited him and his two sisters from visiting us any more. His two sisters weren’t really involved and will stay away, but Yilbert is very involved and like most of the kids and adoscelents here enjoys my presence a lot. He continues to come in spite of his parents. In about 2 or 3 months he will be 18 years old and not officially obliged to obey his parents, although he probably still living with his parents.

This morning like 5 or 10 minutes after I heard that Yilber his parents did not want him to come here any more an intense sadness came over me and I wept and cried as I started to write him a letter which was en Espanól medio y le otre medio Ingles (half broken Spanish and the other half English). Eventually I thought I heard his voice and went to check out and did see him appear here again, so my heart was glad for that because he has such a very good heart. He seemed to ask what I was writing and I was at a loss to explain. I was rather heavy on esoteric language in this letter, and I wonder if it was inspired from above or below. I am still afraid he wont show up tomorrow, because from what I can gather he is basically coming here without telling his parents and it could very well be that if they find out that they are going to be angry with him and cause him not to want to come in some way.

We prayed to God that this situation with gossiping like the lady is doing - saying that we are devil worshippers - be judged in accordance with Gods holy will and fiery justice mercy and compassion. He is after all a burning fire that consumes all that is anti-Christ. Will he lay lazy when we ask le Padre Bueno, en Cielo (the Good Father, in Heaven) for salvation and freedom to be regardless of the resistance?

Hugo showed me a picture of Yilbert and a young lady probably his age who I think is or was his girlfriend. She stopped coming to Yo Creo En Mi because there is or was another young lady here who she was really avoiding.

Hugo mentioned this morning also how religious / spiritual controversies can damage the cause of Yo Creo En Mi. Yesterday I think one of the volunteers was trying to convince one of the Christian participants that reincarnation is real and got into a debate or argument in that way and could have well set got the gossip snowball rolling which says that we are devil worshippers. Hugo & Walter wants a universal approach which can fit in all religious backgrounds or at least very many of them.

The gossiping makes believe that we are a cult that kills people and hurts souls. This makes the work of the foundation very hard, because it causes parents to disobey their children to come.

Yenny (pronounced Jenny) is another one of the stars. The biggest star in terms of how much Power she wields even though she is just 13. She is going to some sort of police fair. We (just about the whole of Club Yo Creo En Mi) have great confidence in her ability to present her personal progress and the work of Yo Creo En Mi and the involvement of the police with Yo Creo En Mi excellently.

2 of the Kids and a customer buying small handmade cushions the children made with Esperanza.

Today we shot some shots at the core of the city of Roldanillo inside the government main building and just outside of it. The personel here love us and greet Yenny & Hugo graciously and gratefully and treat me well too. It healed my soul to freely move around in a government building seeing how much sentiment the government people here feel to the cause of Yo Creo En Mi. Hugo, me and Yenny went around inside the government building meeting people who were all very friendly to us and helped us shoot the videos we wanted for her presentation. We trust them and they trust us. In that sense we are one. It healed a part of my soul to see that, it grew my faith in fellow humanity.

Tomorrow evening we (club Yo Creo En Mi) are going to gather. We are going to have tents, a bonfire and a good time telling stories and enjoying each other. Around here holidays are not holidays. Holidays here are empty and boring, with little to do. ¡This Saturday evening is intended to be enjoyable for all for a good and heartening change! Tomorrow morning or afternoon we are going to march to a local pool (or lake) which will take an hour and what else we will do exactly I do not know, but it will be fun.

On another note, a cake had been made yesterday or two days ago. It was supposed boost sales and a little fundraising at a market stand of Yo Creo En Mi at a small farmer’s cooperative. Today the ants found their way to it. We thought and contemplated about how to get the insects and ants off of it. It had been put outside in the warm sun, but that was not enough to force the ants away. Walter had already tried chanting. A few moments later I suggested putting plastic over it to make the cake and its plate a small greenhouse. It seemed that by the time I suggested that the idea had also already occurred to someone else. After a little while it showed that it worked, the ants had gone. To no surprise, so would I have if I were In a greenhouse in Colombia.

Will write more after sleeping.

¡Buenas noches!